My Heavy Heart

This week, I received some deeply sad news, and it’s been a constant, heavy weight on me. I was hesitant to even mention it here because I don’t feel ready to publicly share the details—not now, at least. It felt awkward, almost disingenuous, to write about my sorrow without context. But I realized that this is a personal blog; while I often write about E.L.I.T.E., there are other aspects of life that shape me, and they inevitably impact E.L.I.T.E. as well. This news has brought a sadness that feels all-encompassing, like a thick, heavy blanket I can’t push off.

I’ve always thought of myself as even-keeled, so this response has caught me off guard. What’s even more surprising is that this situation is not final; there’s still a chance for change, a glimmer of hope. But this possible outcome has me feeling cornered, imagining future scenarios I can’t control. The weight of it has led to quiet tears late at night, trying to sleep while feeling as if my heart has grown so heavy it could sink.

I keep telling myself that this isn’t the end, that there’s still space for optimism. But the sadness lingers, casting shadows I’m trying hard to escape. I know I can’t control the past, and I can’t predict the future, but I am determined to find a way to carry this grief with grace. It’s tough to shake this feeling of dread, but perhaps a peaceful walk or a sunny afternoon in the park might lift the clouds, even if just for a moment.

Until next time.

Quote of the Blog: “Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.” — Christopher Morley